That which you should not want,
the appeal and excitement it brings
with each needed touch
kiss
word
breath.
That which can make you fly,
the freedom and enchantment unknown
for a passing moment
day
week
lifetime.
That which you should turn from,
but pulls you into its warm embrace
to hold you tenderly
softly
knowingly
forbidden.
And yet, you still want it.
Your soul reaches for it.
You let it draw you in.
The forbidden that feels so right.
For those who seek to know more... Take a sneak peek into my world. That is, if you're not too much of a sissy to do so! And be sure to read "Sizzling Sessions" in the Erotica and More tab if you're daring enough to enter my domain and serve at my feet.
See It First
Always know when something new is added!
Don't just guess... Become a Redfire follower today and always know when stories are added, resource articles are brought up from the basement, or something new catches my intrigue!
And don't forget, you can always email me if you have questions, comments, ideas or suggestions!
Two Faces
Two faces from different worlds
Colliding unexpectedly.
Neither could have seen the bond
That will now unite them.
I fought to stay away
I hid and denied what I desired.
Every wall and defense sprang up
To crumble at your feet.
Now I stand before you,
Unhidden beneath your gaze.
Silently awaiting the day when
Your hand will forever take mine.
You command my body.
You possess my heart.
Your love binds my soul.
And Your power sets me free.
Within your protective arms
I willingly surrender my all.
For two separate people,
Are now completely one.
Lifestyle Definitions
Ok, let's be serious here... There are so many terms floating around out there, that it's so easy for anyone to get confused. Especially if you're new to the lifestyle! And, even if you're not, when you get around someone you're not familiar with, they may be talking about one thing, and you're thinking they're talking about something else. So, let's make sure you and I are at least on the same page!
Once again, I have compiled a list of common terms that you're going to encounter. These are how I have come to understand the meaning of these things over the years, and whether you agree or not, that's how it is in my domain and what I have taught others who seek knowledge from me.
Safe, Sane and Consensual: A credo lived by most, if not all, within the D/s and BDSM community. All activities engaged in are done safely, with proper knowledge and/or skill, and often times experienced instruction from another to consider everyone's safety. Nothing occurs that is unreasonable or cannot be completed successfully, and will not exceed the set rules and/or limits of everyone involved.
D/s (Domination/submission): A generic term generally used to describe those who live a 24/7 lifestyle. There are many variations and extremities dictated by those involved based on their own personal opinions, views, philosophies and let limits.
BDSM: (B/D - Bondage/Discipline, D/s - Domination/submission, S/M - Sado-Masochism) A term generally applied to those who engage in "kink" activities, fetish play, and alternative intimate acts. This may be a part of the D/s lifestyle choice, or as strictly bedroom play.
Dominant, Domina, Dom/me, Master/Mistress: Titles applied to those in the D/s and BDSM community that take on a lead role. This may be for short term purposes, a 24/7 lifestyle choice, or on a bedroom only situation.
Submissive: Someone who willingly offers a power exchange, offering control in part or in whole, to a consenting partner for the purpose of mutual gratification. This can be a short term commitment, as a 24/7 lifestyle choice, or anything in between. These people generally retain their own identity, and some form of control over themselves, as defined by their limits.
Slave: Typically someone who offers a total power exchange (TPE), offering complete servitude and obedience to their partner. These people usually give up all freedom of choice, and willingly become their Owner's property, to have only those limits set forth for them.
Pet: Someone who retains their own sense of self-worth, and identity, who chooses to be obedient and serve their Owner. They maintain their own power of choice, but are eager and willing to please and bend to their Owners will. They have very little need of limits, except in specific circumstances, as they always have the freedom to say no.
Top, Bottom, Switch: Terms used to describe the various roles taken in the D/s and BDSM community. Tops are the ones in control, the leaders. Bottoms are those who obey and serve. Switches can take on either role, at any given time, at their discretion, and sometimes choose to "wear both hats" at the same time.
Vanilla: A term used to describe the rest of the world. People who live what is considered ordinary, plain lives. This can be applied to some aspects of the D/s and BDSM community at their discretion, but some view this part of reality as boring and drab.
Keyboard Lifestyler: Someone who uses the basic knowledge of D/s or BDSM (over the phone or online) to pretend to be more then they really are. They have little to no experience in the real world, and are simply playing mind games to seduce, mislead, or otherwise take advantage of someone else for their own personal gain. This can take on any role within the lifestyle or community, and it's often difficult to distinguish these people from those who are sincere.
Limits: Boundaries set by a submissive, but may also be determined by a Dom/me's own personal needs and preferences. These determine how far someone will go from one extreme to another, and what activities are completely off the books.
Safe Word: An uncommonly used word or motion chosen by consenting individuals to indicate that the scene, scenario, play or activity has gone too far, or has exceeded someone's limits. This is a word or action that will be respected by all involved, and only an abusive Dom/me will ignore it. However, some people (generally slaves) choose to not have a safe word at all.
Hurt (Pain) vs. Harm: Pain can be pleasure or punishment. It can be caused from training or learning a new skill or a capability. Within set limits, pain is a natural part of anyone's life - Vanilla, D/s or BDSM. However, pain is not the same as being harmed. Harm is real emotional, mental or physical damage that exceeds bruises, scratches or marks. Harm goes against the credo of Safe, Sane and Consensual and leaves real, lasting damage.
Sensory Deprivation: An act where one or more senses are deprived to heighten sensations from the other senses. Common examples include, but are not limited to, blindfolding, earplugs, cling wrap, mouth gags, etc. This act is typically used in conjunction with bondage and/or role-playing.
Tools: Anything and everything that the imagination can bring to life to use in a sexual or non-sexual manner. They are used to cause excitement, arousal, punishment, or torment..
Toys: Anything and everything that the imagination can bring to life to use in a sexual or non-sexual manner to bring someone pleasure or enjoyment.
Fetish List
This is a large compilation of fetishes I have put together over the years, and what the terms mean. Please understand this is meant to be a reference and informative tool for you to use. While it is extensive, it will never be complete as there is no end to what a fetish can be!
It is in no means a list of my own personal interests, practices, and or limits. Anyone interested in doing a session with me should take the time to read Sizzling Sessions and contact me directly.
24/7 Power Exchange
A voluntary exchange of power from a bottom to a Top. This extends beyond the bedroom and sexual acts and/or services. Usually a submissive to his/her Dom/me or Master/Mistress.
Anal play/Anal Sex (ass play/anal beads)
Any act by which the anus is touched, stimulated, or penetrated by any means. Such means may or may not include dildos, vibrators, fingers, tongue, beads, etc.
Age play
An act by which typically one participant role plays a different age while the other remains the age/maturity of themselves.
Asphyxia/Breath Play (arteries/trachea)
A common way – though dangerous – for stimulation and orgasm to be enhanced. Two common ways are by holding the receiving participants neck in a manner that restricts the blood flow of the main arteries to the brain, and by holding the neck in a manner that restricts air flow through the trachea. Both ways may result in the participating person losing consciousness. Please note, this play should not be engaged without first knowing CPR, and it’s highly encouraged to never be acted out by an inexperienced individual!
Biting (giving and receiving)
An act in which a person is bitten by another. This is one example of some individuals finding pleasure from pain. This act may or may not cause bruising or draw blood.
Blindfolds
A form of sensory deprivation in which an individual’s sight is restricted. It’s believed by many that when one sense is removed, the others are heightened.
Body Hair
This is a matter of personal preference. Some people enjoy their partner(s) to have hair on their bodies. Others may request or require that hair be removed. This may be one part, a selection of areas, or the complete body.
Bondage
An act that ties, binds, shackles, chains or otherwise restricts body movements. This act may require the aid of someone to get out of, or it may simply be more for visual stimulation or role play. In situations where another individual must unbind you in order to be free of the restraints, it’s highly recommended that you do not engage in the activity without 100% complete trust!
Branding
An act in which one person is marked; generally to show ownership by another person, or to show place, ranking, or position. This may be permanent such as a tattoo, burn or cut, or it may be temporary such as a sun tan, shaving, or a temporary tattoo.
Breast/Nipple Play
An act in which a man or woman’s breasts or nipples are teased, stimulated, tortured, used or otherwise abused (in a willing manner). Common examples are nipple clamps, clothes pins, needles, breast binding, etc.
Candle Wax
An act in which hot wax (typically special sex wax candles) is dripped onto bare skin. This may cause burns and blisters and should never be engaged in without having a first aid kit in easy reach, burn aids, and a fire extinguisher.
Chains
A form of bondage using metal chains. This is typically a more serious form of bondage. Chains may also be used as a leash, or to restrict movements and area accessibility.
Chastity Devices
Equipment used to restrict/prevent sexual access or activities. For women, these are typically in a belt/panty form that covers the vaginal and/or anal areas. For men, they are typically a device worn around the penis to restrict/prevent erection, and may also be in a belt form to cover the anal area. These devices may also be used in conjunction with other sex toys and bondage equipment and are usually discreet enough to be worn under clothing.
Chinese Balls/Ben Wa
Usually two or more metal weighted balls (joined or separate) used to strengthen vaginal and anal muscles. Typically used in conjunction with kegal exercises.
Cling Film
A sensory deprivation act in which the body is wrapped in a thin plastic cling wrap (a typical kitchen supply) which restricts airflow to the skin. Sometimes used in conjunction with other tools or toys, bondage and/or other sensory deprivation.
Cock/Ball Torture (CBT)
Acts in which a man’s penis or testes are bound, weighted, pinched, pulled, separated, squeezed, or otherwise painfully stimulated. Common examples are clamps, clothe pins, needles, etc.
Collar
These items are worn around the neck and typically worn by a submissive or bottom. They may be worn as a symbol of submission, to show ownership, or for play purposes in conjunction with a lead, leash or other bondage equipment. They may also be used as a form of control, with or without additional tools.
Confinement/Caging
An act in which an individual is locked in a specific area. This may be in a room, cage, closet, secluded area, etc. The act may be for solitary confinement or around witnesses. A common activity for Owner/pet role play.
Cross Dressing
The act of one gender dressing in clothing or shoes meant for the opposite gender. Typically, this refers to a man dressed in women’s clothing, but may also apply to a woman dressing herself to appear as a man.
Cupping (Suction)
An act in which the skin is suctioned. This results in the blood being pulled closer to the surface and is said to enhance sensitivity to the affected area for further stimulation or torture.
Dacryphilia (tears)
An act in which arousal occurs when an individual is brought to tears. The arousal may be from the person crying, or from observing another individual crying.
Defilement
An act in which a person urinates or defecates (scat) themselves. This may be a condition the person is forced to stay in, a form of punishment, or for the simple enjoyment of the act itself.
Denim
A common fetish in which arousal occurs at the sight of another individual wearing denim, or by wearing denim themselves.
Depilation/Shaving
An act resulting in the removal of hair by chemical or mechanical means.
Dirty Talk
An act in which a person uses words, phrases and tones that are otherwise considered unacceptable. This typically occurs during sexual activity, cyber-sex, phone sex, and to arouse an individual. Forms of dirty talk will vary, and sometime may include name calling or humiliation.
Discipline
An act by which a person is forced to endure – for unacceptable behavior, disobedience, laziness, disrespectful behavior, or for role playing purposes - an activity they would otherwise not choose to do themselves. (Please note: Some individuals are excited or aroused by punishment) This may include, but is certainly FAR from limited to, humiliation, spanking/whipping, deprivation (sexual and non-sexual), being in discomfort, a firm lecture, extra chores, etc. Imagination is key here!
Domination
An act in which an individual accepts control and power over another. Also known as “Topping” and may be in a role play scenario or as a lifestyle choice.
Ears
A fetish in where one or more participating individuals gain stimulation, excitement or arousal from having their ears played with, or by playing with someone else’s ears. In some situations, it’s an act in which a person’s ears are decorated, pierced, teased, tortured, etc.
Electro-torture
An act that uses a device, such as EMS or TENS, for electrical stimulation. This may be torture or pleasure depending on personal preferences.
Exhibitionism
The act of participating in sexual activity or intercourse in public or where you may be viewed by others.
Feather Play
An act of using feathers for stimulation. This may be to tease, arouse, excite, or torture an individual. Feathers may also be used as a visual stimulation for the purpose of arousal, excitement, humiliation, etc.
Fire Play
An act of using fire to excite, arouse or torture an individual. Although it may be self-inflicted, it’s most typically used in conjunction with bondage. This type of play can be dangerous! It results in burns and blisters, and should never be engaged in without having a first aid kit in easy reach, burn aids, and a fire extinguisher.
Fisting
An act of inserting one’s fist into a vagina or anus. This act should always be done slow and cautiously, as there is a risk of physical harm to the receiver. Inexperienced individuals should never engage in this activity without first receiving proper instruction.
Food Play
An act in which any type of food or condiment is used for stimulation, excitement, arousal, or penetration of the vagina or anus. Food may be eaten, licked, etc or simply used for penetration. Imagination is key here!
Gangbangs
An act in which one person engages in sexual intercourse with a group of individuals. This may or may not be used in conjunction with role play of forced assault.
Hair Pulling
An act in which a person’s hair is pulled for excitement, arousal, torture or punishment. There are many ways to do this, and personal preference will vary.
Hand Fixation
A fetish where excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained by using one’s hands on another individual or by having someone else use their hands on them. This may or may not include masturbation or sexual acts.
Handcuffs/Shackles
Devices used for bondage, restraint and control. These will vary in style, designs and purpose. Examples are for wrists, ankles, thighs, and neck. They may be made of leather, plastic, vinyl, metal, etc, and may or may not be used with other tools and equipment.
High Heels
A fetish where excitement or arousal occurs from either wearing or seeing someone else wear high heels. Heels will vary in style and height, and this fetish will vary with personal tastes and preferences.
Humiliation
An act of humiliating one’s self or by being humiliated by another. Some individuals gain excitement or arousal from humiliation; either from the attention it brings, or the rush of emotions it can cause. This act must be used with care as it can cause emotional and mental harm if abused.
Infantilism/Diapers
An act of role play where one individual plays the role of a baby – usually wearing diapers - in nurturing care. Typically this combines defilement and defecation into the role play.
Klismaphilia (Douching/Enema)
An act in which a fluid is inserted vaginally or anally. This is generally used as a stimulation, but may also be used for torture, punishment, cleansing, etc.
Knife/Needle Play
An act in which knives, razors and needles may be used to scratch, cut, puncture or otherwise penetrate the skin. This may or may not draw blood and is generally used as a pain for pleasure stimulation. This can be dangerous and should never be engaged in without a first aid kit in easy reach.
Lace/Lingerie
A fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation is gained by the act of wearing or seeing someone who is wearing lace or lingerie. Styles worn will vary by personal taste and preferences.
Lactation
A fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation is gained by the act of a woman’s milk being expressed. This may occur by hand, pump, or by mouth. The gain may be received by observing, receiving or participating, or simply by ingesting the milk.
Latex
A common fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation occurs at the sight of another individual wearing latex, or by wearing latex themselves.
Lead/Leash
An item typically used on a submissive in conjunction with a collar, to lead a person around, either in private or in public, or to tether them to one particular place.
Leather
A common fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation occurs at the sight of another individual wearing leather, or by wearing leather themselves.
Making “Movies”
An act in which a person films or is filmed while engaging in sexual activity, intercourse, or BDSM play.
Masks
Items used, typically in bondage or role play scenarios, to change one’s appearance, or to deprive a person of sight and/or speech. These will vary in sizes, styles, appearance and materials.
Masochism
A term used to describe a person who gains pleasure and/or enjoyment from being given pain or humiliation by themselves, another individual, or group.
Massage
An act of touching, rubbing, caressing, etc that affects an individual’s skin and muscles. There are many forms; deep muscle, theraputic, sensual, erotic, etc. These may cause pleasure or pain.
Masturbation
An act of sexually touching or stimulating yourself or another individual for the purpose of pleasure or torture. This may be done by using your own hands, mouth, toys, food, etc.
Mutual Masturbation
An act of two or more people engaging in the act of masturbation together. This may be done by either stimulating themselves or each other.
Oral Fixation
A fetish where excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained by using one’s mouth on another individual or by having someone else use their mouth on them. This may or may not include oral sex or other sexual acts.
Oral Sex (Receiving)
An act of being sexually pleasured by another individual using their mouth on your sexual organs. This may be combined with masturbation for further stimulation.
Oral Sex (Giving)
An act of sexually pleasuring another individual by using your mouth on their sexual organs. This may be combined with masturbation for further stimulation.
Orgasm Denial, Controlled Orgasm
An act in which a sub/slave is denied the opportunity to orgasm, or is commanded to orgasm upon command. Often times used in conjunction with chastity devices and genital torment.
Pain
Not to be confused with harm; this is an act by which a person gains stimulation through pain. This may be used for pleasure, torture or punishment. In some cases, pain is the result of a person learning and adjusting to something new they have willingly engaged in.
Pantyhose/Stockings
A common fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation occurs at the sight of another individual wearing pantyhose or stockings, or by wearing them yourself.
Photography, Erotic (taking)
An act by which an individual takes pictures of one or more people (sometimes themselves) who are posed in sexual positions or engaging in sexual or BDSM activities.
Photography, Erotic (posing)
An act where one or more people pose in sexual positions or engage in sexual or BDSM activities while being photographed.
Piercing (permanent)
An act in which an individual has an item punctured through their skin or body parts for the purpose of using body jewelry. Piercings may also be used for the purpose of enhancing pleasure, stimulation, torture, or as a sign of ownership, etc.
Piercing (temporary)
An act in which an individual has an item punctured through their skin or body parts for the temporary purpose of role play, BDSM play, erotic photography or filming, etc. These will be removed after a short time, and the hole will heal closed.
Pinching
An act, and typically a fetish, where excitement, arousal, pain or pleasure is gained from either being pinched or by pinching another individual. This may be done using hands, clamps, clothes pins, etc.
Podaphilia (feet)
A fetish in which one or more participating individuals gain stimulation, excitement or arousal from having their feet played with, or by playing with someone else’s feet. In some situations, it’s an act in which a person’s feet are decorated, observed or visually admired. This fetish sometimes partners with the High Heel or Shoe fetish.
Power Exchange
An act in with a bottom willingly gives up part or all his/her control to another individual. This may be for role play or as a lifestyle choice.
Rack/Medieval Devices
Devices used for torturing purposes. These are often craved by those who gain pleasure from pain; Masochists and Sadists. These devices usually implement bondage and are used in conjunction with other tools.
Rape Play
A form of role play, where an individual is forced into sexual acts and/or intercourse by his/her assailant. This is sometimes done in a bondage play scene, or sometimes enacted by the assailant “breaking” into the “victem’s” room or home and attacking them.
Retifism (shoes/boots)
A fetish where excitement or arousal occurs from either wearing or seeing someone else wearing shoes or boots. These will vary in style and height, and this fetish will vary with personal tastes and preferences.
Rimming
An act of using one’s tongue to lick or penetrate another’s anus.
Role Playing
An act in which the participants pretend to play a role or position. Common examples are: Doctor/Nurse, Religious Play (Nun/Priest), Teacher/student, Master/slave, Abductor/victim, Vampire/victim, etc.
Rubber
A common fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation occurs at the sight of another individual wearing rubber, or by wearing rubber themselves.
Sadism
A term used to describe a person who gains pleasure and/or enjoyment from giving pain or humiliation to themselves, another individual, or group.
Scat (feces) Play
An act of one person releasing a bowl movement on themselves, on another individual, or in a directed area or place.
Scent
A common fetish where excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained by specific scents. These are typically smells that are associated with memories. Candles, incense, perfumes, etc are commonly used items, but this can include natural scents as well such as natural body odors.
Sensory Deprivation
An act where one or more senses are deprived to heighten sensations from the others. Common examples are blindfolding, earplugs, cling wrap, mouth gags, etc. This act is typically used in conjunction with bondage and/or role playing.
Sex during menstruation
An act by which excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained from engaging in intercourse during a woman’s menstruation cycle, or by engaging in oral sex during this time.
Spanking/Paddling
An act by which an individual is hit repeatedly by a hand, paddle or other blunt object typically on their lower body. This act may be for pleasure or punishment, and may or may not leave welts, bruises or marks.
Submission
An act of willingly giving control and power, either in whole or in part, to another individual. This may be for role play scenario or as a lifestyle choice.
Tickling
An act, and often a fetish, where excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained by tickling another individual either by hand or with other objects, or by being tickled themselves. This act typically partners with bondage and sensory deprivation.
Tongue Fetish
A fetish where excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained by using one’s tongue on another individual or by having someone else use their tongue on them. This may or may not include oral sex or other sexual acts.
Tools
Anything and everything that the imagination can bring to life to use in a sexual or non-sexual nature for excitement, arousal, punishment or torture on one’s self or on another individual or group. These should not be mistaken for toys. Examples are floggers, whips, crops, knives, needles, swords, mouth gags, rope, chains, etc.
Toys
Anything and everything that the imagination can bring to life to use in a sexual or non-sexual nature for pleasure, either on one’s self or on another individual or group. Common examples are vibrators, dildos, cucumbers or bananas, empty bottles, eggs, vibrating bullets, ice, etc.
Transvestitism
A term used to describe a person, generally a male, who adopts the dress and/or behaviors of the opposite gender. This is typically for the purpose of emotional or sexual gratification.
Urolagnia (Water Sports/Urine)
An act of one person urinating on themselves, on or in another individual, or in a directed area or place.
Voyeurism
An act in which excitement, arousal, or pleasure is gained by watching other individuals (either known or unknown to those individuals) engaging in sexual activities, intercourse, or BDSM activities.
It is in no means a list of my own personal interests, practices, and or limits. Anyone interested in doing a session with me should take the time to read Sizzling Sessions and contact me directly.
24/7 Power Exchange
A voluntary exchange of power from a bottom to a Top. This extends beyond the bedroom and sexual acts and/or services. Usually a submissive to his/her Dom/me or Master/Mistress.
Anal play/Anal Sex (ass play/anal beads)
Any act by which the anus is touched, stimulated, or penetrated by any means. Such means may or may not include dildos, vibrators, fingers, tongue, beads, etc.
Age play
An act by which typically one participant role plays a different age while the other remains the age/maturity of themselves.
Asphyxia/Breath Play (arteries/trachea)
A common way – though dangerous – for stimulation and orgasm to be enhanced. Two common ways are by holding the receiving participants neck in a manner that restricts the blood flow of the main arteries to the brain, and by holding the neck in a manner that restricts air flow through the trachea. Both ways may result in the participating person losing consciousness. Please note, this play should not be engaged without first knowing CPR, and it’s highly encouraged to never be acted out by an inexperienced individual!
Biting (giving and receiving)
An act in which a person is bitten by another. This is one example of some individuals finding pleasure from pain. This act may or may not cause bruising or draw blood.
Blindfolds
A form of sensory deprivation in which an individual’s sight is restricted. It’s believed by many that when one sense is removed, the others are heightened.
Body Hair
This is a matter of personal preference. Some people enjoy their partner(s) to have hair on their bodies. Others may request or require that hair be removed. This may be one part, a selection of areas, or the complete body.
Bondage
An act that ties, binds, shackles, chains or otherwise restricts body movements. This act may require the aid of someone to get out of, or it may simply be more for visual stimulation or role play. In situations where another individual must unbind you in order to be free of the restraints, it’s highly recommended that you do not engage in the activity without 100% complete trust!
Branding
An act in which one person is marked; generally to show ownership by another person, or to show place, ranking, or position. This may be permanent such as a tattoo, burn or cut, or it may be temporary such as a sun tan, shaving, or a temporary tattoo.
Breast/Nipple Play
An act in which a man or woman’s breasts or nipples are teased, stimulated, tortured, used or otherwise abused (in a willing manner). Common examples are nipple clamps, clothes pins, needles, breast binding, etc.
Candle Wax
An act in which hot wax (typically special sex wax candles) is dripped onto bare skin. This may cause burns and blisters and should never be engaged in without having a first aid kit in easy reach, burn aids, and a fire extinguisher.
Chains
A form of bondage using metal chains. This is typically a more serious form of bondage. Chains may also be used as a leash, or to restrict movements and area accessibility.
Chastity Devices
Equipment used to restrict/prevent sexual access or activities. For women, these are typically in a belt/panty form that covers the vaginal and/or anal areas. For men, they are typically a device worn around the penis to restrict/prevent erection, and may also be in a belt form to cover the anal area. These devices may also be used in conjunction with other sex toys and bondage equipment and are usually discreet enough to be worn under clothing.
Chinese Balls/Ben Wa
Usually two or more metal weighted balls (joined or separate) used to strengthen vaginal and anal muscles. Typically used in conjunction with kegal exercises.
Cling Film
A sensory deprivation act in which the body is wrapped in a thin plastic cling wrap (a typical kitchen supply) which restricts airflow to the skin. Sometimes used in conjunction with other tools or toys, bondage and/or other sensory deprivation.
Cock/Ball Torture (CBT)
Acts in which a man’s penis or testes are bound, weighted, pinched, pulled, separated, squeezed, or otherwise painfully stimulated. Common examples are clamps, clothe pins, needles, etc.
Collar
These items are worn around the neck and typically worn by a submissive or bottom. They may be worn as a symbol of submission, to show ownership, or for play purposes in conjunction with a lead, leash or other bondage equipment. They may also be used as a form of control, with or without additional tools.
Confinement/Caging
An act in which an individual is locked in a specific area. This may be in a room, cage, closet, secluded area, etc. The act may be for solitary confinement or around witnesses. A common activity for Owner/pet role play.
Cross Dressing
The act of one gender dressing in clothing or shoes meant for the opposite gender. Typically, this refers to a man dressed in women’s clothing, but may also apply to a woman dressing herself to appear as a man.
Cupping (Suction)
An act in which the skin is suctioned. This results in the blood being pulled closer to the surface and is said to enhance sensitivity to the affected area for further stimulation or torture.
Dacryphilia (tears)
An act in which arousal occurs when an individual is brought to tears. The arousal may be from the person crying, or from observing another individual crying.
Defilement
An act in which a person urinates or defecates (scat) themselves. This may be a condition the person is forced to stay in, a form of punishment, or for the simple enjoyment of the act itself.
Denim
A common fetish in which arousal occurs at the sight of another individual wearing denim, or by wearing denim themselves.
Depilation/Shaving
An act resulting in the removal of hair by chemical or mechanical means.
Dirty Talk
An act in which a person uses words, phrases and tones that are otherwise considered unacceptable. This typically occurs during sexual activity, cyber-sex, phone sex, and to arouse an individual. Forms of dirty talk will vary, and sometime may include name calling or humiliation.
Discipline
An act by which a person is forced to endure – for unacceptable behavior, disobedience, laziness, disrespectful behavior, or for role playing purposes - an activity they would otherwise not choose to do themselves. (Please note: Some individuals are excited or aroused by punishment) This may include, but is certainly FAR from limited to, humiliation, spanking/whipping, deprivation (sexual and non-sexual), being in discomfort, a firm lecture, extra chores, etc. Imagination is key here!
Domination
An act in which an individual accepts control and power over another. Also known as “Topping” and may be in a role play scenario or as a lifestyle choice.
Ears
A fetish in where one or more participating individuals gain stimulation, excitement or arousal from having their ears played with, or by playing with someone else’s ears. In some situations, it’s an act in which a person’s ears are decorated, pierced, teased, tortured, etc.
Electro-torture
An act that uses a device, such as EMS or TENS, for electrical stimulation. This may be torture or pleasure depending on personal preferences.
Exhibitionism
The act of participating in sexual activity or intercourse in public or where you may be viewed by others.
Feather Play
An act of using feathers for stimulation. This may be to tease, arouse, excite, or torture an individual. Feathers may also be used as a visual stimulation for the purpose of arousal, excitement, humiliation, etc.
Fire Play
An act of using fire to excite, arouse or torture an individual. Although it may be self-inflicted, it’s most typically used in conjunction with bondage. This type of play can be dangerous! It results in burns and blisters, and should never be engaged in without having a first aid kit in easy reach, burn aids, and a fire extinguisher.
Fisting
An act of inserting one’s fist into a vagina or anus. This act should always be done slow and cautiously, as there is a risk of physical harm to the receiver. Inexperienced individuals should never engage in this activity without first receiving proper instruction.
Food Play
An act in which any type of food or condiment is used for stimulation, excitement, arousal, or penetration of the vagina or anus. Food may be eaten, licked, etc or simply used for penetration. Imagination is key here!
Gangbangs
An act in which one person engages in sexual intercourse with a group of individuals. This may or may not be used in conjunction with role play of forced assault.
Hair Pulling
An act in which a person’s hair is pulled for excitement, arousal, torture or punishment. There are many ways to do this, and personal preference will vary.
Hand Fixation
A fetish where excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained by using one’s hands on another individual or by having someone else use their hands on them. This may or may not include masturbation or sexual acts.
Handcuffs/Shackles
Devices used for bondage, restraint and control. These will vary in style, designs and purpose. Examples are for wrists, ankles, thighs, and neck. They may be made of leather, plastic, vinyl, metal, etc, and may or may not be used with other tools and equipment.
High Heels
A fetish where excitement or arousal occurs from either wearing or seeing someone else wear high heels. Heels will vary in style and height, and this fetish will vary with personal tastes and preferences.
Humiliation
An act of humiliating one’s self or by being humiliated by another. Some individuals gain excitement or arousal from humiliation; either from the attention it brings, or the rush of emotions it can cause. This act must be used with care as it can cause emotional and mental harm if abused.
Infantilism/Diapers
An act of role play where one individual plays the role of a baby – usually wearing diapers - in nurturing care. Typically this combines defilement and defecation into the role play.
Klismaphilia (Douching/Enema)
An act in which a fluid is inserted vaginally or anally. This is generally used as a stimulation, but may also be used for torture, punishment, cleansing, etc.
Knife/Needle Play
An act in which knives, razors and needles may be used to scratch, cut, puncture or otherwise penetrate the skin. This may or may not draw blood and is generally used as a pain for pleasure stimulation. This can be dangerous and should never be engaged in without a first aid kit in easy reach.
Lace/Lingerie
A fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation is gained by the act of wearing or seeing someone who is wearing lace or lingerie. Styles worn will vary by personal taste and preferences.
Lactation
A fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation is gained by the act of a woman’s milk being expressed. This may occur by hand, pump, or by mouth. The gain may be received by observing, receiving or participating, or simply by ingesting the milk.
Latex
A common fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation occurs at the sight of another individual wearing latex, or by wearing latex themselves.
Lead/Leash
An item typically used on a submissive in conjunction with a collar, to lead a person around, either in private or in public, or to tether them to one particular place.
Leather
A common fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation occurs at the sight of another individual wearing leather, or by wearing leather themselves.
Making “Movies”
An act in which a person films or is filmed while engaging in sexual activity, intercourse, or BDSM play.
Masks
Items used, typically in bondage or role play scenarios, to change one’s appearance, or to deprive a person of sight and/or speech. These will vary in sizes, styles, appearance and materials.
Masochism
A term used to describe a person who gains pleasure and/or enjoyment from being given pain or humiliation by themselves, another individual, or group.
Massage
An act of touching, rubbing, caressing, etc that affects an individual’s skin and muscles. There are many forms; deep muscle, theraputic, sensual, erotic, etc. These may cause pleasure or pain.
Masturbation
An act of sexually touching or stimulating yourself or another individual for the purpose of pleasure or torture. This may be done by using your own hands, mouth, toys, food, etc.
Mutual Masturbation
An act of two or more people engaging in the act of masturbation together. This may be done by either stimulating themselves or each other.
Oral Fixation
A fetish where excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained by using one’s mouth on another individual or by having someone else use their mouth on them. This may or may not include oral sex or other sexual acts.
Oral Sex (Receiving)
An act of being sexually pleasured by another individual using their mouth on your sexual organs. This may be combined with masturbation for further stimulation.
Oral Sex (Giving)
An act of sexually pleasuring another individual by using your mouth on their sexual organs. This may be combined with masturbation for further stimulation.
Orgasm Denial, Controlled Orgasm
An act in which a sub/slave is denied the opportunity to orgasm, or is commanded to orgasm upon command. Often times used in conjunction with chastity devices and genital torment.
Pain
Not to be confused with harm; this is an act by which a person gains stimulation through pain. This may be used for pleasure, torture or punishment. In some cases, pain is the result of a person learning and adjusting to something new they have willingly engaged in.
Pantyhose/Stockings
A common fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation occurs at the sight of another individual wearing pantyhose or stockings, or by wearing them yourself.
Photography, Erotic (taking)
An act by which an individual takes pictures of one or more people (sometimes themselves) who are posed in sexual positions or engaging in sexual or BDSM activities.
Photography, Erotic (posing)
An act where one or more people pose in sexual positions or engage in sexual or BDSM activities while being photographed.
Piercing (permanent)
An act in which an individual has an item punctured through their skin or body parts for the purpose of using body jewelry. Piercings may also be used for the purpose of enhancing pleasure, stimulation, torture, or as a sign of ownership, etc.
Piercing (temporary)
An act in which an individual has an item punctured through their skin or body parts for the temporary purpose of role play, BDSM play, erotic photography or filming, etc. These will be removed after a short time, and the hole will heal closed.
Pinching
An act, and typically a fetish, where excitement, arousal, pain or pleasure is gained from either being pinched or by pinching another individual. This may be done using hands, clamps, clothes pins, etc.
Podaphilia (feet)
A fetish in which one or more participating individuals gain stimulation, excitement or arousal from having their feet played with, or by playing with someone else’s feet. In some situations, it’s an act in which a person’s feet are decorated, observed or visually admired. This fetish sometimes partners with the High Heel or Shoe fetish.
Power Exchange
An act in with a bottom willingly gives up part or all his/her control to another individual. This may be for role play or as a lifestyle choice.
Rack/Medieval Devices
Devices used for torturing purposes. These are often craved by those who gain pleasure from pain; Masochists and Sadists. These devices usually implement bondage and are used in conjunction with other tools.
Rape Play
A form of role play, where an individual is forced into sexual acts and/or intercourse by his/her assailant. This is sometimes done in a bondage play scene, or sometimes enacted by the assailant “breaking” into the “victem’s” room or home and attacking them.
Retifism (shoes/boots)
A fetish where excitement or arousal occurs from either wearing or seeing someone else wearing shoes or boots. These will vary in style and height, and this fetish will vary with personal tastes and preferences.
Rimming
An act of using one’s tongue to lick or penetrate another’s anus.
Role Playing
An act in which the participants pretend to play a role or position. Common examples are: Doctor/Nurse, Religious Play (Nun/Priest), Teacher/student, Master/slave, Abductor/victim, Vampire/victim, etc.
Rubber
A common fetish in which excitement, arousal or stimulation occurs at the sight of another individual wearing rubber, or by wearing rubber themselves.
Sadism
A term used to describe a person who gains pleasure and/or enjoyment from giving pain or humiliation to themselves, another individual, or group.
Scat (feces) Play
An act of one person releasing a bowl movement on themselves, on another individual, or in a directed area or place.
Scent
A common fetish where excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained by specific scents. These are typically smells that are associated with memories. Candles, incense, perfumes, etc are commonly used items, but this can include natural scents as well such as natural body odors.
Sensory Deprivation
An act where one or more senses are deprived to heighten sensations from the others. Common examples are blindfolding, earplugs, cling wrap, mouth gags, etc. This act is typically used in conjunction with bondage and/or role playing.
Sex during menstruation
An act by which excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained from engaging in intercourse during a woman’s menstruation cycle, or by engaging in oral sex during this time.
Spanking/Paddling
An act by which an individual is hit repeatedly by a hand, paddle or other blunt object typically on their lower body. This act may be for pleasure or punishment, and may or may not leave welts, bruises or marks.
Submission
An act of willingly giving control and power, either in whole or in part, to another individual. This may be for role play scenario or as a lifestyle choice.
Tickling
An act, and often a fetish, where excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained by tickling another individual either by hand or with other objects, or by being tickled themselves. This act typically partners with bondage and sensory deprivation.
Tongue Fetish
A fetish where excitement, arousal or pleasure is gained by using one’s tongue on another individual or by having someone else use their tongue on them. This may or may not include oral sex or other sexual acts.
Tools
Anything and everything that the imagination can bring to life to use in a sexual or non-sexual nature for excitement, arousal, punishment or torture on one’s self or on another individual or group. These should not be mistaken for toys. Examples are floggers, whips, crops, knives, needles, swords, mouth gags, rope, chains, etc.
Toys
Anything and everything that the imagination can bring to life to use in a sexual or non-sexual nature for pleasure, either on one’s self or on another individual or group. Common examples are vibrators, dildos, cucumbers or bananas, empty bottles, eggs, vibrating bullets, ice, etc.
Transvestitism
A term used to describe a person, generally a male, who adopts the dress and/or behaviors of the opposite gender. This is typically for the purpose of emotional or sexual gratification.
Urolagnia (Water Sports/Urine)
An act of one person urinating on themselves, on or in another individual, or in a directed area or place.
Voyeurism
An act in which excitement, arousal, or pleasure is gained by watching other individuals (either known or unknown to those individuals) engaging in sexual activities, intercourse, or BDSM activities.
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