Fetish Introduction

Being a Dom/me or a submissive/slave should simply be a natural extension of who and what you are inside. Preferences, desires, needs and wants are going to vary from person to person. So why should everyone be forced to conform into a mold of rules that may only suit one specific type of person? Sounds simple enough, right? But, it's often times easier said then done.

There is really only one rule that everyone should have to follow. Safe, Sane, and Consensual! But beyond that, the sky truly is the limit. You will find books, articles and opinions everywhere you go. They will have their own idea of what should and shouldn’t be, or how things should happen. But the truth is, it’s the needs of the people involved that will dictate how things happen, and what that all entails.

It’s up to you to discover who you are inside, what your needs are, what it is you’re wanting and looking for, and what guidelines or philosophies you happen to fit into. What’s right for your neighbor, your best friend, or even your brother may not bring you happiness, whether they're in the lifestyle or not. If you’re sacrificing or settling, you will never be fulfilled, and therefore you will never really know what it is to be free.

To do this, you have to understand yourself. Sometimes it means accepting that what you were taught was wrong. You have to let go of everything you think you know. Because, just because they're right, they're wrong. Confused? Let me explain.

Everything you grew up with, influenced you. Your family, you're religion, you're neighborhood, the society you grew up in, and your friends. They all affected the way you made your choices, and the thoughts and feelings you grew up with. They all determined your beliefs and feelings for everything you believed was right and wrong. Just like many years ago, the whole world believed the world was flat.

You have to reprogram yourself to let go of the influences that have cemented the road blocks that will be standing in the way of where you're trying to go. No one else can do that for you. All those things that were taboo for all those people were right for them, but today, are they right for you? Do you really believe them? If you did, would you be here, right this minute, reading this article?

You've already taken the first steps necessary to get where you want to be. And even though you can't yet see the destination, you can see the journey. It's a long road ahead of you, with alot of twists and turns. You may think you're lost along the way, but you're really just taking the scenic route. There are no short cuts. The easy way will only loop you back around to the starting point eventually. So don't worry if it takes a while. There's alot to learn, and it won't always be easy.

There may be times when you’ll be forcing yourself to go beyond your shyness or insecurities. And yes, there may even be times when you will have to admit what you’re afraid to even admit to yourself, or things you didn't even realize. Some may even seem or feel scary or wrong. Others may seem embarrassing or shameful. I can assure you that you're not alone. I've been there myself, and many will follow in your shoes.

So why am I rambling on about all this? Because, I want to introduce you to fetishes. And there's a good reason for this. I believe that before you can ever truely learn something, you must first learn to understand it. And in this case, that means learning to understand yourself.

And since the BDSM and D/s lifestyles are very sexual lifestyles (for the most part, although many live in the dynamics without the BDSM aspect quite happily) you are going to be asked on a regular occassion what your limits are, what you are interested in, what you're curious about, etc. Not to mention, by opening yourself up to options, and possibilities (and a good fantasy or two!) you're also opening the door a little wider into a stimulating, and what I consider an amazingly gratifying underworld of sensuality and pure natural human instinct.

So, what exactly is a fetish? Simply put, it's an obsession that brings on arousal or excitement. Something that someone loves, or thrives on. What makes you tick? What makes you purr? What gets your motor going? It's not that hard to think about the obvious things, but what about those little quirks that we all have that makes you blush or feel shy? How about that secret little fantasy that you're afraid to let out of the closet? Ever daydream about being that naughty little school girl or boy, or having someone spank you until your cheeks are rosy red? When someone runs their nails down the small of your back, do you feel like melting? Those are considered fetishes.